Champerton New Year

As the sun sets on another year I thought I should at least try to get in one more addition to my blog!

I'm not sure if anyone actually reads this stuff but at least it keeps me amused and off the streets!

All I really wanted to say though is that I hope you all had a Champerton Christmas and I pray that 2007 brings with it a little more peace for everyone.

On a very significant day for Iraq maybe we should all be thinking of the ordinary Iraqi people, and pray for them at this momentus moment in the life of their nation - that the turning of this page of history will herald peace and calm for that desperately troubled land.

We can at least hope.

God bless you all!

Champertastic!

My friend Philippa (you remember - her with the shoe fetish) is from Leeds.

She's been back a few times recently to visit her parents and to catch up with her many friends. She reports that there is a definite movement within this noble circle to re-instate the use of 'Champerton' in everyday use within the county of Yorkshire. Well that gets a thumbs up from me and Tigger!

Go for it guys - today Yorkshire - tomorrow - THE WORLD (manic laughter!)!!

Champerton!

'Whadda *#&%*@# liberty!'

It's taken a while to throw off the full devastating effect of the Man Cold - but something happened this week that inspired me to get on the old blog soap box once again.

As I was walking to work on Monday (at a very silly time of day) it started to rain. Being a sensible sort of chappie I delved into my rucksack and produced my battered but trusty brolley. Once on the train there isn't really anywhere obvious to store a dripping wet brolley apart from under the seat.

Well - you've guessed it - I left my trusted old friend on the 0605 from Ipswich. Not a very Champerton thing to do you will no doubt agree! Not a problem I thought - the trusted and dutiful staff of 'One' (daft name) Railways will hand it in and I will simply poodle along to Lost Property at Liverpool Street (open from 0700 until 2300 7 days a week) and be re-united with my missing item. Champerton!

Now... the 0605 arrives in London well before 0700 hours so rather than wait I decided to go to work and explore the ins and outs of retrievig said lost item.

Well - let me tell you - I can now understand how they can afford to appoint a 3rd party company to run their lost property office for 16 hours a day, 7 days a week - it was going to cost me £2.00 to get my own property back! Ohh - and that's not all! If you are unlucky enough to leave behind your CD player they'll fleece you for a fiver, your mobile phone will set you back a tenner, and if you part company with your laptop they'll stuff you for 20 quid!! However - under 16's school work, medical items and kiddies toys are exempt - so that's all right then!

As a matter of principle I refuse to pay - which probably means my principles will eventually get me very wet until Santa brings me a replacement (hint hint!).

The charge is apparently to cover ' the cost of retrieval' and is in line with guidelines agreed by all UK train operators - which sounds like a perfect stitch-up to me!

Obviously they have taken a leaf out of the Chancellor's book - because these charges can be described as nothing less than a tax on honesty!!

To mis-quote James Blunt - 'Goodbye my brolley, goodbye my friend....'

Pathetic Post Script!

Well.... I was nearly right - it wasn't quite Man Flu but a really bad case of Man Cold! I thought I'd post a picture of my best friend over the past week or so - LemSip Max Strength - that Lemon flavoured germ warrior and friend to man's wellbeing! God bless those Champerton people at Reckitt Benckiser!

If truth be known I've barely had the strength to push down the keys on my keyboard - but the thought of a nice steaming cup of Lemsip enabled the creative juices to flow once again. Champerton!

However, I remain somewhat non-plussed... why is the Blackcurrant version of this wonderful medicine still called LemSip? Discuss.

Sorry.... all this activity.. it's too much, too soon - I've reached overload already!

'Garcon - another LemSip over here s'il vous plait (Sniff)!

Champerton!!

Man Flu

Mmmmm.... think I might possibly be coming down with a bout of Man Flu. Now... let's be clear on this - Man Flu is the real thing and not the watered down version that women contract. When us men come down with Man Flu we have no other choice but to retire to our beds and cuddle up to a Lemsip!

Women on the other hand seem perfectly able to carry on quite normally with their daily routines - blissfully unaware of the traumas and suffering that us poor blokes have to endure. Their lack of sympathy or concern underlines their complete ignorance of just how nasty it is to have Man Flu - or even a Man Cold come to that! However, the more educated woman (a minority I have to say) recognizing the severity of the condition will reprimand any bold attempt by her man to return to work with the command ' Get back to bed at once!' Ah that all women were like this!!

However, for most of us, as we languish beneath the duvet with a fever of 101 and racked with pain, we are subjected to humiliating taunts and are bombarded with such scathing comments as ' You'd know what real pain is if you had to have a baby' or 'Do you have any idea what it's like to break a fingernail?' - and this from people who can't even sneeze properly! How dreadfully un- Champerton of them!!

I've had to go through 8 pregnancies and I didn't feel a thing!

Well, my strength is all but gone - bashing this keyboard has quite exhausted me - although I have soldiered on bravely in the face of Man Flu with scarcely a whimper. I hope you're proud of me chaps!

However, before I completely alienate all my wonderful female readers can I just say.....

' Oym onchly jowshing'........ which is what 'I'm only joking' sounds like when your tongue is firmly in your cheek!

Aaaachhooooo! Night Night Sooty! Night night everybody! (Sniff)

Shooooz

Now.... I want to tell you about my Champerton friend Philippa. She sits next to me here in the BBC and is the Emelda Marcos of the organisation. Even though I've asked her she is unable to tell me exactly how many pairs of shoes she actually possesses.

Philippa believes that Gordon (the Chancellor of the Exchequer) should allow women tax credits in order for them to be able to buy more shoes (oh....and handbags fit loosely into this category too!). Simply mention Jimmy Choo or Prada and a glazed expression descends upon her lovely features, and she disappears into a world all of her own - sometimes for hours at a time!

I've tried to get her to subscribe to the school of thought that believes that 3 pairs of shoes are enough for anyone - but she just looks at me with a look that can kill at 50 paces!

Before she beats me to within an inch of my life - the pair of shoes on the right (above) are not part of Philippa's collection. Just want to make that very clear!! (though I suspect she would love to own a pair like the one on the left!).

Do all women think in this thoroughly non-Champerton way?? Discuss.

Spring Onions!

No - panic ye not - I've not entered the seedy (get it? - seedy - oh the wit of the man!) world of Alan Titchmarsh.

No - Spring Onions is my over familiar nickname for the greatest Christian Conference on the planet:

SPRING HARVEST!!

If you're a Christian and you've never been to Spring Onions you really don't know what you're missing. Come to that if you're NOT a Christian and you've never been to Spring Onions then - quite frankly - you've never lived! Yours truly was at the very first one in 1979 in Prestatyn (N. Wales) with my good friend Richard and around 2000 other people attending. Spring Onions now provides places for over 70000 people on 2 sites across a number of weeks. We literally take over 2 of the largest Butlins holiday camps in the UK.

Now I know what you're thinking... Butlins..Easter...Hi-de-Hi.... well, let me re-assure you that Butlins is a lot different these days - warm comfortable chalets, really good food, and hardly a Red Coat in sight - would I lie to you??

Since 1986 I have been heading north each Easter to Skeggie (that's Skegness UK to the un-initiated) as part of an army of volunteers who look after the Under 5's.

Mad you say! Wrong I say! It's absolutely brilliant. For the past 14 years or so I've been priveliged to lead some wonderful teams of volunteers in providing Under 5's with the time of their lives - puppets, singing stories, games are just a few of hte things we get up to. It's hard work but incredibly rewarding - and unbelievably great fun! It's just like becoming a big kid - it's mega Champerton!

I've put a link to the site and would really really encourage you to consider either attending a guest...OR (even better).... volunteer to be on one of the teams - either at Skeggie or Minehead (where my mate Brian goes!). There is always a last minute panic for volunteers - so please do give it some serious thought and prayer!

Either way I guarantee you won't regret it!

Post Script Re: Flying Discs!

I thought an update might be in order regarding the progress of 'Thundering Herd' in the WUCC - you remember... that mixed team of frisbee chuckers from London.

Well.. I logged on t'other day to t'Internet and I regret to advise you that the news was not very champerton! Our gallant heroes didn't thunder very much from what I 'herd' (Get it - herd..heard - oh please yourselves).

No I think it's fair to say that they were getting well and truly stuffed when I looked. They'll be home now - no doubt bruised and missing a few teeth. Still - better luck next time fellas!

Never mind - let's hope our brave cricketers will have better fortunes down under. I think hope is probably the operative word...

Christians in Sport

So..... Christians in Sport - what's it all about? Well.... the clue is sort of in the name really - it's all about Christians who play sport!

Well actually it's an awful lot more than that! Based in Bicester this truly Champerton organisation look to support Christian sportsmen and women across the UK whilst trying to promote a sense of fair play and Christian values within schools and youth groups. It seems that in order to be a part of CIS you have to agree to a shortening of your surname or that a 'y' or an 'o' is suffixed. So, for example, Colin Wells (who jointly runs the academy with 'Lancs') is known to everyone as 'Wellsy' - I think you get the idea! (He came to stay with us and several times didn't answer when I called him Colin!!)

As I mentioned in my previous post my son Sam is joining the CIS Academy in January for six months. During that time he will be working with teachers and youth leaders to try to promote a different and better attitude to playing sport. Whether they admit it or not a lot of people - especially kids - look to sports personalities as role models in life. The crazy thing is a lot of these role models display a very poor image where integrity and fair play are concerned. You see it every week on Match of the Day - a player gets beaten fairly so he 'has no other option' (really?) but to chop someones legs from under them, or dive in the box in the hope of fooling the ref into giving him a penalty. These so called professionals have a huge responsibility for the attitudes of those view them as heroes - yet all to frequently we see open dissent on pitches throughout the land, with every referee's decision questioned and appalling language to boot - you don't need to be a lip reader to work it out what they are saying either!

I've never been able to understand what satisfaction there is in winning by cheating - whether that's through taking performance enhancing drugs or unfair play (or what is bizarrely referred to as exercising gamesmanship!!).

For me, one of my favourite oxymorons is 'professional foul'! Surely that's just a term used to avoid the embarrassment of having to refer to someone honestly for what they really are - a cheat!

Anyway my prayers will be with Sam and everyone else involved in this Champerton organisation - and I hope your's will be too! - especially that he won't come back as Samo, Panns or Pannelly!!

Footie again!

This bloggin' can be a bit of a drain on the already overstretched time resources! I can't believe that over a week has gone by since my last entry.

I've had two weekends packed full of footie - I've spent literally hours on some touchline or other - armed only with my faithful flask of Rosie Lee.

Chelmsford City continue to excel - beating Boreham Wood 2-nil to go sixth in the table, and then last Saturday - a capacity crowd at Melbourne to see them hold Aldershot to a draw in the F.A. Cup First Round proper! City put up a great fight and really could have won the game quite easily. The piccie shows one of our strikers Kezie Ibe taking on two of the Conference Leaguers single handed. Great stuff!

Captain Claret the City Parrot was in fine form too!

However, I've also been loyally supporting our Church team (St. Andrew's Bicknacre) who have recently joined the Chelmsford and District Church League. It's quite a bit different from yer common or garden footie league. The Church is allowed to field a number of non Church goers in its side. Our team is coached by my old friend John Woodrow and includes my eldest son Sam. It's a great outreach and it's amazing to see both sides gathered for prayer before kick-off.

St Andrew's have played really well every game but have had mixed fortunes - winning 7-2 one week and losing to the bottom side 1-nil (We hit everything except the net - honest!)

The league holds to many of the ethics that are championed by Christians in Sport - a champerton organisation close to my heart as Sam will be joining their academy in January for six months.

More about them another time...

Flying Discs!

It's very humbling when you realise that there's a whole world out there that you didn't even know existed!

Now....to you and me a Frisbee is a plastic disc that gets dangerously chucked around on the beach by butch looking posers, and usually has a couple of teeth - human or canine - embedded within it - Right? - WRONG! - well... yes - it is that - but it's so much more!

In a routine business conversation with a colleague of mine, he casually mentioned that tomorrow he's off to Perth (one of my most favourite places in Australia) on holiday. Further interrogation revealed that he is going there with a group of other people to take part in the WFDF (that's the World Flying Disc Federation to you and me) World Ultimate Club Championships. Now the clue is in the title - Flying Disc (you can see where this is going can't you?)
Yep - there's a sport out there called 'Ultimate' that I knew nothing about until today. According to the spectators' guide on the web site (Yep - they've got one of those too) it's a non-contact sport that combines elements of football, netball, grid iron and touch football - but most importantly involves a frisbee (or should that be flying disc) and is played on a proper pitch that's 125 yards long! You have to catch the frisbee in your opponent's end zone to score, and catch this (sorry - bad pun)- there are no referees! Now that's Champerton!

It's incredible - there are literally dozens of teams descending on Perth from all over the World! My colleague Jonathan is playing for a Mixed (yes -mixed) team called Thundering Herd.

I've posted a link on this site so that you too can go in and be amazed - and humbled by your hitherto ignorance!

Didgeridoo or Didgeridon't

I saw in the paper today that Rolf has at last received some recognition for his services to entertainment - he might be an Aussie but the man is a legend and a genius! Rolf Harris CBE - quite right too!

For as long as I can remember I have always been amazed that God should bless one person with so many different skills and talents. And he's a genuinely nice bloke too. On one of his many visits to the BBC he drew a special picture for my son Josh, and left me the most wonderful message of support on my voicemail. The man really is a top geezer.

The only blot on his otherwise unblemished character remains his rendering of 'Stairway to Heaven' - a Led Zepellin classic! He received a lot of negative feedback from Led Zep fans who felt that he had gone beyond the pale in desecrating this rock classic. However, Rolf's response was memorable - 'If you don't want people to sing stuff then you shouldn't publish it' - to my shame I found myself nodding in agreement!

I was in Australia earlier this year and (as you do) asked a native aborigine what they thought of Rolf's abilities on the didgeridoo. He told me that as far as most aborigines are concerned Rolf is an excellent player - praise indeed from the very people who invented the instrument, and for whom it plays a very important part in their spiritual and cultural beliefs. While I was over there I had a go at playing the didgeridoo. To my (and everyone else's surprise - especially the aborigine guy) I managed to get a really good sound first time! However, the skill is maintaining a droning note for several minutes without passing out, seeing stars or hyper-ventilating. This requires mastery of circular breathing - being able to breath in through the nose whilst blowing out through the mouth!

Well... a few weeks ago my daughter Becky and her boyfriend Ash brought me back from Oz my very own didgeridoo. A beautiful thing it is too - crafted by both human hands (about 8 hours apparently) and thousands of hardworking termites (about 20 years by all accounts)! I was thrilled to bits and at the moment am desperately trying to master the breathing technique - I'll keep you informed!

Anyway, back to Rolf - whose invention of his Jake the Peg character must be one of entertainment's most unique creations. Well - what can I say - Congratulations to a much loved and great man - Good on yer mate! Champerton, really Champerton!

Up the City - Wheel 'em in!

H'way the lads! (that's the geordie on my Mother's side coming out!). Why the excitement? - well Chelmsford City have only gone and stuffed Gravesend in the F.A. Cup - that's why! Well stuffed might be a little over the top - but 1-nil is 1-nil when all said and done. Being a Chelmsford lad myself I've 'supported' the City since I was twelve years old when they won the Southern League and almost got a place in the Football League- and seen them through some of the highs and lows of non-league footie. Getting through to the first round proper of the F.A. Cup - well, it's Champerton - simply Champerton!

Bring on Aldershot! Roll on 11 November!

City have a great bunch of loyal supporters (me every now and again) which includes the newly arrived Claret the City Parrot (pictured). Hang on a minute - do my eyes deceive me - or is that a human hand I see poking out of Claret's stomach? Does that mean that Claret is really - (gulp) - a human dressed up as a parrot?- is this unreleased film footage from Ridley Scott's 'Alien' - or has he simply devoured one of the visiting supporters in all the excitement? Who knows? Who cares??

Well... there were 1,609 supporters at today's game - not bad for a Isthmian League Premier Division side, and proving that there are some real die-hards supporters out there - including my friend Marky (who has so many replica City shirts I've lost count) who has been there through on the terraces through thick and thin - and came back from Bible College in Oxford especially for this game. It brings a tear to yer eye don't it?

Anyway - we're all very proud of Jeff King and the City boys! Up the City, Wheel 'em in!

My family

Well I'm starting to get the hang of this bloggin' thingy so I thought I would post up a picture of my family. That's me on the end - although this was taken a few years ago I'm still as good looking, and also so very 'umble as ever I was.

Although you won't be aware of it you are actually looking at a miracle - he's the little fella 2nd from the left on the bottom row. When my wife Sarah was just 12 weeks pregnant a routine scan showed that there was something seriously wrong with the baby's heart. Against initial medical advice and in accordance with our faith and beliefs, we went through with the pregnancy and Joshua was born in 1995. At 36 hours old he had open heart surgery at Great Ormond Street Hospital- 6 weeks ago he started secondary school - Praise the Lord!

Josh continues to astound the medical world. From a medical point of view he shouldn't be alive - but he is - thanks to God's grace and provision.

That's enough for now - but there are so many stories that I can (and probably will) tell you about Josh. If you think there is no God - then think again! Josh is living proof that there is a God in Heaven who loves us and wants all that is good for our lives - and that really IS Champerton!

More soon...

Crackerjack!!

No - this isn't a picture of me! - Cheek! I thought it was such a lovely picture of a childhood legend(?) that I should share it with the World!

Altogether now.... 'It's Friday...it's five to five....and it's Crackerjack! (Response: (shouted as loudly as is humanly possible) CRACKERJACK! or in the case of this blog - CHAMPERTON!).

Ah the memories, the memories....

(in case you don't recognise him - it's Peter Glaze!)

Who'd've thought it eh?

Well....who'd've thought that old Pannell would end up with his own blog? I didn't really think I was interesting enough to bother until my friend Pete sent me a link to his blog - which is brill and very cool - in fact it's rather Champerton! It was Pete who encouraged me so you if you've got any problems you can blame him!

Anyway - who knows where this might be going - we'll have to see! One thing you CAN be certain about is a disgraceful overuse of exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta go - places to be - things to do - people to annoy! Champerton!

God bless!

Steve