Man Flu

Mmmmm.... think I might possibly be coming down with a bout of Man Flu. Now... let's be clear on this - Man Flu is the real thing and not the watered down version that women contract. When us men come down with Man Flu we have no other choice but to retire to our beds and cuddle up to a Lemsip!

Women on the other hand seem perfectly able to carry on quite normally with their daily routines - blissfully unaware of the traumas and suffering that us poor blokes have to endure. Their lack of sympathy or concern underlines their complete ignorance of just how nasty it is to have Man Flu - or even a Man Cold come to that! However, the more educated woman (a minority I have to say) recognizing the severity of the condition will reprimand any bold attempt by her man to return to work with the command ' Get back to bed at once!' Ah that all women were like this!!

However, for most of us, as we languish beneath the duvet with a fever of 101 and racked with pain, we are subjected to humiliating taunts and are bombarded with such scathing comments as ' You'd know what real pain is if you had to have a baby' or 'Do you have any idea what it's like to break a fingernail?' - and this from people who can't even sneeze properly! How dreadfully un- Champerton of them!!

I've had to go through 8 pregnancies and I didn't feel a thing!

Well, my strength is all but gone - bashing this keyboard has quite exhausted me - although I have soldiered on bravely in the face of Man Flu with scarcely a whimper. I hope you're proud of me chaps!

However, before I completely alienate all my wonderful female readers can I just say.....

' Oym onchly jowshing'........ which is what 'I'm only joking' sounds like when your tongue is firmly in your cheek!

Aaaachhooooo! Night Night Sooty! Night night everybody! (Sniff)